[Photo: Steve Jones]
Today is Mother's Day. I know it because if nothing else people have shared their feelings about this day on their Facebook posts starting earlier in the week. We all know there will be a run on roses at the local florist, restaurant reservations will be in short supply (if you have not done so already!), department stores will run out of perfumes, airports will be packed, and Hallmark stores will make a lot of money. However when we talk about Mother's Day and the church the feelings are a mixed bag. Some churches will at least recognize the day and others will not. So I wanted to share my thoughts on this day.
In my experience Mother's Day in the African-American church is very important. We tend to say people are CME's (no disrespect to my Christian Methodist Episcopal friends) - they go to church on Christmas Day, Mother's Day, and Easter. Worship can range from pretty elaborate to low key. I cannot speak for all African-American churches but in my limited experience I have yet to hear of a congregation that does NOT make mention of it at the very least. When I first began my ministry Mother's Day worship was pretty involved. The women who had a living mother wore red carnations and those whose mothers had died wore white ones. I ususally extolled the virtures of motherhood and preached a sermon on the same. One of our women's circles chose a Mother of the Year (biological or not) and the honoree was recognized with a plaque and said a few words. We had all the mothers in the congregation stand and be recognized. The Men's Council sponsored a breakfast for all the mothers before church. Personally I had no problem with that because 1) that was pretty much the way these services went from the time I was a child in church, and 2) I remember what my own mother has done for me. My mother is special and I would not be the person I am today without her guidance, love, and support. I often think about the sacrifices she made for myself and my two brothers. It was not easy for us living in South Central Los Angeles, especially after my parents separated when I was seven years old. My father left and moved to Maryland and was not physically present between the ages of 8 and 16. That's a pretty important period in a young boy's life to go through without a male figure. My mom had to be father and mother for our family. Still today her faith and example is one that I continue to follow and cannot even imagine her not being on earth.
However, I have a greater understanding over the years that this is not the case for everyone. Looking with my eyes on my mother and wife, motherhood is not one that is easy or necessarily enjoyable. There are women (and men) who do not have a good relationship with their own mothers. Some feel abandoned by their mother. Mother's Day recalls sad memories for those whose mothers had passed. My wife and I experienced two miscarriages before we had our son and I can imagine how hard this day can be for women who want to be mothers but cannot. Some women choose not to be mothers and this day means little to nothing. I know a woman who is retired and has never married nor had children. We had a conversation the other day and she told me that Mother's Day does not even occur to her. I think about mothers from Latin America who are and will be in pain tomorrow because they remain separated from their children who remain in detention centers or detained themselves. I always have in the back of my mind the mothers of Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland, Philando Castile, and others. Even for those who are mothers, life is not necessarily rosy. Many mothers have to shelve their hopes and dreams to take care of their families. We see more and more cases of mothers harming their children like this one. These examples and many others have given me pause and a realization that I needed to view motherhood with my rose colored glasses off.
So today we will stil recognize Mother's Day in worship. This is not an option in my ministry context nor do I want it to be. However our recognition will consider the different facets of motherhood. We won't ask the mothers to stand. During the Minute for Mission I will read today's selection from the PCUSA Mission Yearbook about Mother's Day. I will preach on the RCL text of Acts 9:36-43, talking about Tabitha and the saints and disciples believing in the power of God (NOTE: this will not be a sermon about motherhood. Tabitha just happend to be the lection for the day). We wil recite this Mother's Day litany from the United Methodist Church. I may say a few words on what motherhood encompasses. And I will definitely post a Happy Mother's Day wish on my Facebook page along with the famous R&B song by the Intruders, "I'll Always Love My Mama." Most importantly I will strive to recognize that motherhood comes in different forms and ways. That it can and sometimes is joy and pain. The complexities of this day is not to be avoided but to acknowledge and live through it with the grace of God.
May you experience God's comfort, grace and presence on this Mother's Day.
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