The Word from B

"They are not my colleagues, these are my friends": The Clergy Peer Group

[Photo: Bruce Reyes-Chow]

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” – Albert Schweitzer

I know, I know. It has been a while since my last blog post. But I couldn't pass this one up.

Last week I had the most amazing time with my clergy group, The Forever Young Urban Pastors (YUP's), as we had our annual meeting this year in Mexico. We usually meet in the beautiful wine country of Northern California. However we were gifted this year by a group member to meet at a wonderful resort, The Westin Resort and Spa in Cancun, Mexico. I had not visited Mexico in years and was ready for the adventure. And what an adventure we had! From sitting on the beach looking at the Caribbean Sea at the resort, walking around Centro de Cancun, visiting the Mayan ruins and snorkeling in Tulum, learning Mayan history at the ruins of Chichen Itza, or just having a dance party in our room, we had a blast! We had great food and great fun.

 

[Photo: Byron Wade]

Although the outings are fun, what is most important to me is the development of relationships. Our group recounted its history and discovered that we have been together for over 20 years. Some people have come and left. Some have been with the group from the beginning, some have left and returned (like me), and some have joined us in the last few years. Our name says "urban" but some of us serve churches in the suburbs. A few are no longer in full-time pastoral ministry. However this diversity makes us stronger and adds to our lives. In reality it is not about what we do as pastors or bragging about our churches and ministries. It is about creating a space to be our whole selves - our joys, frustrations, sharing concerns and celebrating milestones. One person had undergone cancer treatments and is now cancer-free. Another is going through a separation in a relationship. Someone else is contemplating a vocational change. A few of us have teenagers who are going through the college search process.  We listen, cry, laugh, mourn, pray, and celebrate together. Our relationships have become stronger over the years and while none of us individually or collectively are perfect, we accept each other for who we are - a child made in the image of God.

I am always surprised and taken aback at pastors who don't want to or decline the invitation to participate in a clergy peer group. By nature we as pastors are great at supporting and sharing our lives with church members but are suspect of doing the same with other clergy. I hope that someday we can break that stigma for the reality is that the day-to-day responsibilities of ministry can take its toll on our lives, families, and friends. We will go through spiritual deserts and periods of loneliness and find we have no one to turn to. For myself the YUP's are my lifeline in ministry and keep me sane. More importantly they are more than colleagues, they are my friends.

I hope you will find friends too.

 

 

[Photo: Bruce Reyes-Chow]

 

 

The Montreat Experience

(Photo: Montreat)

"Encountering God through relationships, renewal, recreation and rest."

- Montreat Conference Center Mission Statement

If you have been in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A) for any length of time (especially here in the Carolinas/Southeast), invariably you will hear about Montreat Conference Center.  For many it is described as a place of serenity, "a thin place", or a slice of heaven. Many people have grown up going to Montreat for many generations and find it a place to relax, refresh and get away to spend time with family and friends. No doubt it is a beautiful place and the memories and experiences run deep like a river. Included in this memory of Montreat are the youth conferences (MYC) that are held annually each summer for six weeks where many young people have their first exposure to this wonderful place. I have been many times to Montreat plenty of times in various capacities and wanted the youth from our church to have the same exposure. So for the first time ever a few weeks ago, Davie Street sent five youth and two adult back home leaders (my wife and I) to MYC week 4 (July 16-22). From the get-go they were excited to go to Montreat!

The theme of this year's conferences was A Missing Peace. My seminary classmate and President of Johnson C. Smith Theological Seminary, Paul Roberts, did a wonderful job as keynote, highlighting that peace was not the absence of conflict. Rather, God's peace is present with us even in the midst of difficulties. Paul shared a few personal stories to highlight his journey with peace, including the story of the recent death of his mother. He was also very connected and engaging with the participants. The biggest highlight for our back home group was the daily interaction with other participants in their small groups and our partnership with Wake Forest Presbyterian Church as we went to Catawba Falls together for Wednesday free afternoon and ate dinner at their house (we stayed in the Winsborough and ate most of our meals at Assembly Inn). 

Having been a first time back home leader (which I swore that I would never do) I knew we had a great group of young people who would really resonate with the concept of peace. However I really was heartened and surprised by our discussions during evening devotions and around the meal tables as we talked about our daily experiences at the conference and in our own personal lives. Peace these days is very elusive, especially with the present societal climate. Hearing young people share in our small groups and various discussions their personal stories of family, personal struggles and overcoming adversity added an additional element of how to have peace in the midst of everything that is going on in our daily lives. In our back home group we discussed various ways in which we can enact and empower others to be peacemakers and agents of reconciliation. They had so much fun that they are ready to make MYC week four an annual event!

On that Saturday morning after the conference ended, we packed our bags and loaded the van ready to return to Raleigh. However, my wife wanted to get one last picture of our group. We had a hard time trying to decide the "perfect" picture to shoot but wife had the idea that we should take one with our hands folded into a heart with each of us in a circle (pic below). I think we can truly say the Montreat experience is not only a "thin space" but one of finding and exploring peace so we can go home and fully become what our preacher Katie Day said on the last evening in her sermon, "We are a Child of God."

 

 

Chillin' or Running toward the Light?

[Photo: Alexander Synaptic]

Have you heard of the familiar term, "I can see the light at the end of the tunnel" before? It usually means the end of a difficult situation or task, the solution to a difficult problem. Most of us in the working world also view this saying in looking forward to leaving the workplace and getting closer to retirement. This saying really hit home for me a few years ago when my wife and I had our yearly appointment with financial planner to review our plan (NOTE: quick and shameless shout-out to my financial planners at Raymond James/Pursuit Wealth Strategies!). Our main planner Pam showed us a Monte Carlo simulation, a financial formulation which helps you to determine when you can retire according to your present income. My wife has always had the plan to retire at age 55 and for me, not so much. However, what the Monte Carlo simulation showed us that on our present financial path if things still stay the same, my wife could actually retire and I would not be far behind in the very near future. Talk about seeing the light! It kind of blew my mind that retirement was even possible. I guess when you are working it never really dawned on me this would even be a possibility. 

Now don't get me wrong. I have NO intention of retiring anytime soon. I am one of those pastors who believe that you never really retire. As a matter of fact the joke I have with my financial planners is that I cannot retire until I'm 70 - that is another 17 years! Even when I do retire, I would like to consider other types of ministry such as Interim or mid council ministry, or non-profit leadership. I will be open to what plans God have for me until I am no longer able to do so. However the most important aspect of this is how are you preparing down the road? Some of us have been in the ministry for over 20 years and we already know that many of us late baby boomer/ early Gen X'er's will be leaving the workforce and retire from active church ministry sooner than later. Will we be prepared for the next journey in life or ministry? Or more importantly, what will we do until we get there?

I have seen and heard two ways in pastors deal with getting closer to retirement. The first way is "just chillin" - and unfortunately not in a good way. Some ministers pretty much have made the decision to just do what I call "maintenance ministry" and try to ride out their remaining time in their churches until retirement comes. Now there are often many factors that happen to be in this situation - trying to get children through college, caretaker for an ill family member, no longer have any discernible skills for outside ministry, etc. In the meantime, you find that the congregation which they serve is not progressing. No new ideas about ministry are coming forth. No backup plan to train others to take over the ministry. Church life and vitality become stale. Members begin to complain about the beloved pastor behind their back and sometimes make suggestions in their face to no avail. The church is on life support. This is not what I envision ministry going forward.  I envision the second way "runnin'" toward retirement. I plan to learn all I can and build upon my years of experience to discern where God is leading next and believe in that God will reveal new aspects and visions of ministry I have never thought of before. I am a true believer that we are lifelong learners and we stop learning, we stop being - and in turn stop others from realizing their potential as a part of the body of Christ. 

So as we get closer to retirement, what are some ways in which you can grow and prepare for the future? Here a few suggestions:

1) Attend a CREDO conference for mid-career pastors.

2) Take advantage of programs from the PCUSA Board of Pensions like this one.

3) Take a continuing education course in something which you are passionate.

4) Talk and network with others on available opportunities. And it is ok to do something non-church related!

Whatever you do, I hope you will not just chill until retirement. May you go with the power of God to rest, refresh, play, and discern where God is leading your next journey. And keep runnin' toward the light!

 

A Belated Father's Day thoughts

[Photo: Felt App on Twitter]

 It has been a long time since my last post!

I know that I am a little late on acknowledging Father's Day. You will have to excuse me for my son and I were on a flight back home to Raleigh that Sunday after a two-week trip to my hometown to L.A. to assist my mother, who had knee replacement surgery. Son and I had a wonderful time taking care of her and going around L.A., especially the beaches of Venice, Hermosa, and Redondo, not to mention driving through the South Bay area of Palos Verdes and Rancho Palos Verdes.

Every Father's Day I think about two things: 1) the relationship with my Father and 2) my relationship with my son. My father, James Henry Wade, died six years ago and we had a good relationship. He and my mother were separated during the crucial formative years of adolescence and teenage years but he always gave me guidance and loved me.  He was always proud of me and my accomplishments and that meant a great deal. Similarly, I am very proud of my son. It was interesting to me when I first became a father. I will always remember when I first saw him with his head sticking out of my wife's stomach (she had a C-section) before he was completely pulled out. It was a strange time learning how to be a dad. People who know me will tell you that I am NOT good with small children and when my wife would give him to me as a newborn,  I would hold him for a few minutes and say, "OK, you can have him back." My wife would get totally upset with me! Later as he grew, could talk and understand things we would have the best time hanging out with each other with me sharing my wisdom and visiting places. Now as a 15 year old, he is totally on his cellphone but we do talk and have great conversations. He is a wonderful young man who has goals in life with the main one attending Harvard, Stanford, or Yale for college. He just finished his first year of high school and received only two "B's' and the rest "A's" for all four quarters of 9th grade, making the honor roll all four times - in honors classes. He loves church (strange?), especially being an usher. He is well spoken of at the YMCA he attends. He even started attending Young Life meetings at his school. Son does not hang out with friends a lot, preferring to stay at home. I am very proud of him and I believe I have tried and continue to try to impart wisdom and knowledge as he continues to grow. My wife and I also know he has three years left with us before he goes on to college.

On the other hand, I do fear for him. I am concerned for his safety and well-being as a young Black man in this society. Every time I hear of another Black man being shot and killed (by the police or someone else) it makes me stop and shudder. Statements from people like Franklin Graham are shortsighted at best and plain mean at worst. Statistics given by this article in theblaze doesn't give me any reassurance. More often that not I have had a number of conversations with my son around how to act when approached by a police officer, how to handle it when someone calls you a n****r, how to deal with discrimination or people not liking your for whatever, staying away from gang members, refusing drugs and alcohol, etc. I have even had to talk with him about how other Black students may use the stigma of "acting white"on him because he is doing well socially and academically and how to overcome that. It is becoming more and more the case that I totally understand when people of color say that dealing with this everyday is stressful. 

Yet everyday I wake up giving my fears to God and dreaming of how God will continue to have him grow and be the person he is to become. I dream of being with him every step of the way, become more and more a Father and listener and less of telling him what to do. I look forward to him becoming successful as he plans to become a physician (at least that is the plan as of today). And I hope he will see me as a Father who tried and continues to try his best to lead and walk alongside him the rest of my days.

Happy Belated Father's Day to you all.

 

I've been to the mountain top. Now what?

Early this morning (Sunday, July 24) at 3:31 a.m. the bus carrying the Presbytery of New Hope delegation of youth and adults returned home from a long ride from the 2016 Presbyterian Youth Triennium at Purdue University (PYT) in West Lafayette, IN. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Triennium, it is our denomination's national youth conference which is held every three years (hence "Triennium"). I am excited for this event every three years but definitely more so this year because my son made this bus trip as a first-time participant, as well as the majority of the almost 5,000 youth and adults in attendance. 

The Presbyterian Youth Triennium is and always has been very important and near and dear to my heart. Like my son, I was a first time participant in the very first Triennium held back in the summer of 1980 at Indiana University in Bloomington, IN. It was that event that began my journey in ministry. I almost did not go because that summer I was hired for my first job working at a local McDonald's. I had missed the first gathering of the youth who were going from the Presbytery of the Pacific and I had received a phone call from one of the presbytery youth leaders asking me if I was going to attend. I had told her "No, because I just got a job." For some reason, she asked me if I was sure I wasn't going to go. I told her to wait a minute and let me ask my mom - she is my "go-to" person. So I put the phone and asked my mom what should I do. My mom replied that I should go and said "Your job will be there. They will understand" (NOTE: I had not even started yet!). I picked up the phone receiver and told the youth leader that my mom said it was ok for me to go. I had such a good time, beginning with the all the presbytery youth from the Synod of Southern California and Hawaii boarding an Amtrak train in Los Angeles for a epic two-day ride to Chicago and drove to Bloomington. I met people who were my age from all over the world. Worship was wonderful with music led by the late Rev. Dr. Isaiah Jones, Jr. Small groups and workshops (yes, we had those!) were great! Most of all, it was a place that has been and I still consider the closest thing to the Kingdom of Heaven. It was also where I decided to follow God's call on my life and became very active the the Presbyterian Church. I have been to many Trienniums since then - 1983, 1986, 1989 (Adult Advisor), 1992 (Design Team), 1995, 1998 (Adult Advisor), and 2007 (Conference Dean). Each of them have been great but it was the first one in which I had the "mountain top" experience.

The few times I heard from my son the only thing he could say was, "I am having an AWESOME time!" He described the experience as one in which was very friendly. He exchanged pins, met people from all over, showed me some of the energizers they did, and said worship was great! He did not know anyone in the New Hope delegation before but knows all of them and they became good friends. Now he really wants to attend a Montreat Youth Conference next summer and return to Purdue for the 2019 Triennium. You can see the spark in his eyes as he too have been to the "mountain top".  As the theme for this year's event was "Go!", all 5,000 participants will have to come off the mountain and re-enter the world, a beautiful and problematic place at the same time. Their questions will be "How can I live out this wonderful experience and share it with others?" "What is God calling me to be and do?" "What does this experience mean for me and others around me?" Basically the main question is "Now what?"

What is my son going to do now? Here is what I plan to do:

1. Give him space to speak -  I will not force him to tell about his experience. It could be overwhelming to speak about everything at one time. I will let him speak and share with me when he is ready to do so.
2. Give time for processing - Like above, he will need time to process and get his thoughts together. 
3. Don't compare experiences - His experience this year is different in a lot of ways from mine in 1980 and even 2007. It will be helpful to hear what has happened in the present time and not compare. Acknowledge his and not let yours interfere. 
4. Walk along with him - Oftentimes participants have been exposed to different areas of ministry and life at the PYT. Whether it is learning about Presbyterian schools and colleges, LGBT issues, the Young Adult Volunteer (YAV) program, Human Trafficking, etc. There may be a calling or interest he might want to follow up on. Or for some participants they may hear a call from God to serve the church and the world. It is important as questions and issues come from their experience to be a presence and guide to help them navigate where and who God is calling them to become. 

The Presbyterian Youth Triennium is a wonderful experience that I would not trade for the world. However we are not called to just have a good time; we are called as God's people to go out and spread God's word and love to all. And I hope that we will give all the participants the time, space and presence to learn from what they experienced. AMEN!

In Need of Community

 

Whenever something terrible happens the first thing most of us justice-minded people do is look for a place where people can gather in response, whether it is a worship service/vigil, an open space to talk or to hear the stories of others to provide some sense of comfort in the midst of tragedy. To find out about these things you have to get the word from your contacts or "people on the street" because these gatherings pop up spontaneously. Usually I am so slow that by the time I find out of any such gatherings, the event has been over. However, when the shooting deaths happened in Orlando this past weekend I was really bothered and made it a priority to find a worship gathering. Earlier in the day I heard about an interfaith vigil that was to be held this evening at Pullen Memorial Baptist Church, a progressive and well-known congregation here in Raleigh. So I decided that I was not going to miss out this time. I left the opening night of our Vacation Bible School and traveled to Pullen. 

To say that the church was packed would be an understatement. People came from everywhere and represented God's beautiful diversity in every way - all colors and races, various faiths and those who had no faith but were still affected by the tragedy, LGBTQ and heterosexual, young and old, etc. Rev. Nancy Petty, pastor of Pullen, led the service by acknowledging our hurt and pains while giving us comfort and a space to be in communion with other human beings. We heard wonderful music - although I have to admit I have never heard a Marvin Gaye song (What's Going On?) played on guitar - and great reflections by Rabbi Larry Bach and Imam Abdullah Antepli. Candles were lit for those killed, the Pulse nightclub, the Orlando community and the global LGBTQ community. And we ended the service by lighting our own candles, passing the light of Christ to others. However the most touching part of the service happened near the end of the program when Rev. Petty gave us the opportunity to lift up a word or phrase. I heard words like "love", "hope", "solidarity", "community", "never again", "we are not like this", and others which expressed the feelings, desires, frustrations and hopes. 

Over the last few days, I read lots of facebook posts and tweets in response to the Orlando shootings. Many expressed outrage, grief, sadness and hope. I have to admit I resonated most with those posts where people said they had no words or did not say anything. When tragedies like this happen it is easy for us to mention politics, gun laws, mental illness, religion and so on. But sometimes what is needed, especially for me, was to be silent and in the midst of the sanctuary. Worshiping with people I have never seen before and probably will not see again. Being present with the family of faith. Just taking time to be quiet, to collect my thoughts, be in the presence of others who are suffering and crying. To acknowledge the pain of a ostracized community (LGBTQ), the worry of another (Muslim), and the healing of a third (Christian). To lift up our prayers and hope to a God who is still present even in the midst of our emptiness. And to go out in hope for a better world, with God's help. In due time.

I was in need of community tonight. 

"Where are you, Rev?"

[Photo: WRAL]

Today it hit close to home.

Shortly after noon, a young black man, 24 year-old Akiel Denkins, was shot and killed by a City of Raleigh Police officer.  As the story was reported by WRAL-TV, Jenkins, who was wanted on a felony drug charge and was approached , fled from the officer who gave chase. Apparently Denkins and the officer jumped over one fence and when Denkins jumped over a second fence and the officer could not the officer began shooting, allegedly hitting Denkins in the back and he died. Reportedly there was a gun found "in close proximity" to Denkins. The shooting occured in the South Park, a historical African-American community. This community is less than a mile from my church and literally down the street and around the block from the church manse which we used to own. I lived there my first three years and when Denkins was shot and killed was less than a five-minute walk from the manse. As you can imagine tensions are running VERY high. Denkins' mother told reporters her son was shot for nothing. There are plenty of eyewitnesses and police had blocked off the street to conduct their investigation. The office has not been revealed or mentioned by name as of yet. Just as quickly as it happened, crowds of people have gathered and participated in a prayer vigil. Neighborhood Clergy colleagues like my friend, Rev. Chris Jones from Ship of Zion Church have expressed concern about the future relationship between the police and the neighborhood. Rev. Dr. William J. Barber, President of the North Carolina State Chapter of the NAACP has issued a letter calling for a full and thorough investigation and the Raleigh Police Chief said the State Bureau of Investigation will review the shooting. 

I first heard about the shooting from our former Clerk of Session through a phone message she left on my cellphone. At first the news did not have any information other than a Raleigh police officer shot and killed a man. As the day went on more information appeared and I could hear police helicopters hovering around the neighborhood. Crowds of onlookers started to gather at the scene of the shooting. When I returned the former Clerk's call, there was live, on the scene video on WRAL-TV. Since my route home is right near the scene I pondered stopping and seeing what was going happening. As I approached I could see cars parked on the streets and sidewalks along the the vehicles from the local news stations. People were gathering and the police has blocked off the street. I thought about pulling over, getting out and seeing what was going on. I had nowhere to go and nothing to do that would have prevented me from stopping. But I kept on going and did not stop. 

I thought about for a moment. In this work for justice and peace, we all have different ways of carrying out this ministry. There are some who will be on the scene immediately and have conversation with people or act as peacemakers to calm the crowd down. Some are agitators who will incite the people before finding out all the evidence just on principle (shooting of young black men, unjust structures, etc.). There are some who like to stay and work behind the scenes. And there are some who pray for the situation but never put themselves into action. I have found over the years I am a mix of being a peacemaker and working behind the scenes. But for some unexplained reason, I acted like most people and just passed by. I often think what are the implications of just passing by. Does it mean that the Gospel I preach is not the one I practice? Does it mean I am already beat down by the deaths of young black men that I feel helpless and hopeless? Does it mean that I have some unresolved stuff I need to work through? I am not a stranger to participating in protests. But I could have at least stopped by to give comfort to someone. Or to be a presence of Christ in the midst of pain, confusion and sorrow. I could have prayed for and with others in this community of faith. But for some reason I did not.

All I know that somebody in our community may be asking, "Where are you, Rev?"

Happy King Day!

[Photo: U.S. National Archives]

Tomorrow all across the nation people will celebrate the Martin Luther King, Jr. National Holiday. People will celebrate differently. Some churches will take their youth on a ski trip. Others will spend the day at home thankful for another day of rest. People will go shopping; spend time with family/friends/loved ones. Some will think about Martin Luther King's life and witness. Others will not even know who he was. For many others like myself we will spend time participating in local events to commemorate his life and move forward with the work that is yet to be done.

In our congregation our remembrance of his life and witness began this morning. Our Sunday School teachers taught about Martin Luther King, Jr. I led our Minute for Mission, which talked about his life and encouraging others to participate in the Triangle Martin Luther King, Jr Committee events. We sang the song "We Shall Overcome" as a part of worship. Even one of our Women's Circles met after worship and did a study of his life. I don't want to assume but I do believe this was a common pattern in African-American congregations today. 

So as we celebrate his 87th birthday you may ask, "Why do we do this year after year?" Many people are under the (false) belief that equality for all is already here; racism and discrimination no longer exists; and we should move on to other things. However this can't be further from the truth. Dr. King once said, ""Whatever affects one directly, affects all directly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." Although gains have been made over the years, things are still unequal. For example -

• Unarmed African-Americans are being killed by law enforcement everywhere you turn.
• 72.5% of African-Americans graduate from high school, compared to 87.2% of whites (US. Dept of Education, 2013-14).
• In terms of the wealth gap between the races, White households have 13 times more wealth than African-American households and 10 times more than Hispanic households (Pew Research Center Report, December 2014). 
• People of color make up 30% of the U.S. population but are 60% of those imprisoned (Center for American Progress, 2012). 

Injustice, oppression and inequality are still ingrained into the system of our society and until those are broken and all can never be what God has created them to be, then there will be people like myself who will be on the front-lines. 

I hope that whatever you do tomorrow, you will spend some time thinking about the life and accomplishments of Martin Luther King, Jr. And continue the movement toward the Beloved Community. Happy King Day!

This Was My Son

[Photo: Huewire]

There are two things you need to know about me: 1) I am a huge "E" on the Myers-Briggs scale which means most of the time I speak before I think; and 2) I am a pretty easygoing guy. Not a lot gets under my skin.

Until this happened.

Unless you have been visiting the International Space Station and just returned home recently, Tamir Rice was a 12 year old black youth who was shot and killed by a police officer in a Cleveland city park in November 2014. Police were called and dispatched to this park after reports of a young black male sitting on a swing set and pointing a gun at people randomly. No one was sure if it was a real or fake gun (it turned out to be a pellet gun). Despite the conflicting reports of what actually happened at the scene after Tamir's death, what really got to me was the decision by the grand jury not to bring charges against the officers involved. My feelings were not a result of the officers not being charged, at least to a large extent. My feelings of anger and sadness was that another young black person was killed. And there is nothing anybody can do about it. It is like you are totally helpless. It is just like society - or better yet those in charge of the system - saying in effect, "Sorry, but it was justified. You will just have to deal with it." Right after the grand jury decision we had our  monthly Session meeting. During the time of intercessory prayer at the end of the meeting I confessed to the the Ruling Elders that this whole situation had really bothered me. All agreed that it bothered them as well and you could see the looks on their faces. 

Most of all I was troubled because this could have been my son. Andrew and Tamir were born the same year and were the same age (Andrew was born in February 2002 and Tamir in June 2002). They were both the same height (5 foot 7). Like Tamir, Andrew is a popular kid at his school. Like Tamir, Andrew liked and played basketball. Both liked music; Tamir played in his school's drum line and Andrew plays the piano at his middle school. My son Andrew is a promising young black male who has the opportunity to achieve much in this world, given a chance and I am sure the same could be said for Tamir. We try as parents to guide our children (especially our males) as best we can. However we know that they will make mistakes and unwise choices when not under our watchful eyes, whether minor or significant. It is just that most of the time other young males don't get killed for them. 

Each morning as I awaken at 5:30 a.m. to engage in the practice of daily prayer and scripture reading I pray for my son. I pray for God to watch over and protect him through the Holy Spirit. I also ask God to be with him when he makes mistakes and keep him out of danger. This is what I learned from my parents and extended black community; when something happens it is never a isolated incident. My experience is that we do not think individually but we think communally. When something bad happens to one, we are concerned for all. I also pray for Tamir's parents and loved ones just because of one simple fact -

This was my son.

 

A Change is Coming

 

I said I would make some changes in my life in 2016. I began a few days ago when I posted on Facebook about making the change from keeping all of my appointments and reminders in an annual little black appointment book to using Google Calendar. It all started a few months ago when I came to the realization that I could not continue to keep up with three calendars; the little black book, Google Calendar and my Office Max desk calendar at the church office. It was getting to the point where it was aggravating to try and keep up and remembering to list events on all three calendars, not to mention forgetting to list something on one and forgetting to do it on the others. It would be better efficiency on my part to use an electronic version and keep only one written calendar. So between the desk and pocket version one of them had to go and it ended up being the little black book.  It will be missed and it served as my "second brain" many a day. However it was a needed change.

Change is needed every now and then in our lives. We can't keep doing the same thing all the time and expect a different result - that is the definition of insanity. For our own health and well-being, the movement to a new practice or way of doing something will help us to move forward, no matter how difficult or challenging it could be.  The change described above is just a microcosm of changes that I have thought through, prayed and discerned in conversation and prayer with God recently. So I want to share with you some other changes I am going to attempt in this new year -

• I will no longer just engage in ministry to people but with people. I spend a lot of time in meetings (church, non-profit boards, etc.) in ministry to certain people (homeless, at-risk, etc.) and unless a special occasion comes up I was never really involved in the lives of those persons. That has to stop and I have committed myself to be more involved in ministry with others, learning about who they are and being a presence.
• I will stop accepting invitations to serve just because it sounds good or out of a sense of obligation. Instead I will only accept invitations to serve if it is line with my passions, gifts and skills.
• I will find opportunities to delegate responsibilities to others instead of trying to do everything myself.
• I will examine the aspects of my life that are "growing edges" and work on those, willingly facing and dealing with the discomfort and unpleasantness that I will experience. 

These are needed changes that I have been led to deal with in my life and ministry. I hope that through these monumental changed I will learn more about myself and who God has made me to become. Keep in mind, these are not New Year's resolutions. Rather, these are changes which will take a substantial time and effort to complete - and it can only be done with God's help.

A change is coming. It definitely is!